The August Long Weekend is HERE! What better time to release The 2016 Docktail Report -- just in time for your pre-weekend preparations.

I've been collecting my inspiration for this year's Docktail list for several weeks now, trying them out on friends and family. We 3 swimmers + one special guest star taste-tested a few on our recent river swimming road trip, and our resident connoisseur Rhya (aka Lady Beer Goggles) gave them the thumbs up.

If you need to review the original guidelines for what makes Docktail Hour truly special, you can refer to last year's report here.

Without further ado, I give you the 2016 Docktail Report:

The Blender Contenders

Given my inclination to be Fancy whenever possible, this year's list features TWO docktails that require special equipment -- but it's just a good old basic blender, so don't worry. Not THAT fancy.

1. Boozy Rosemary Watermelon Lemonade


My experience with this one is that you have to make sure the bottom of the blender jar is screwed on tight, or else you will have to re-squeeze all the lemons. Ahem. I swear I was not already drunkety when this happened.

You have to prepare a little bit in advance for this one -- make the rosemary simple syrup in the morning so it has time to steep and cool, go have a swim and some dock time while you wait, and then bust it out with the first round of snacks in the afternoon.

Here's the recipe. It's a winner. Lots of points for colour. Extra points if you have fancy straws.

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2. Summer Sangria Slushie


I couldn't find a bag of frozen white peaches, but I did find a bag of frozen peaches + mango + strawberries, and it produced this beautiful pinky-orange colour. The Littles were on hand to help push the blender buttons, and they got kid-friendly slushy docktails in Star Wars cups for their efforts.

Here's the recipe. This was delicious, and the icy-cold factor was a hit on the very hot day we made this. Tell your mom to go slow. This tastes like a delicious popsicle, but packs a punch!

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Pink is My Favourite Colour

3. Frosé!


Last year's list included just plain old rosé, but the game got upped when both Vogue Magazine and Bon Appetit declared Frosé the Drink of the Summer.

Frozen Rosé. What could be more magical, am I right? You need some freezer space to be able to pull this one off.

Here's the recipe. Thanks to my cousin Ike's ladybird Erica for being the mixmaster & photographer on this one.

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20 Points for Travellers

4. Dark & Stormy in an Adult Sippy Cup


What better way to greet 3 swimmers arriving on a road trip than with perfect Dark & Stormies -- IN TRAVELLERS!!! Reason #1,798 why I love these ladies is that they introduced me to the Adult Sippy Cup.

Arrive, unpack the car, get swimsuits on, walk to the dock with drink in hand, spill NOTHING, jump in, get out, and enjoy this classic cocktail on the dock. Rum, ginger beer and lime wedges. So simple. So yummy.

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A New Spin on a Classic



5. The Piano Piano G&T

Soon after it opened, I started hearing rumours about the G&T at Victor & Nikki's new Toronto restaurant, Piano Piano. Rumour had it that the G&T was OFF. THE. CHARTS.

So I went to find out what the fuss was all about, and it turns out their bartender Jeff Carroll makes his own Tonic Syrup. And so you mix a bit of that with a bit of gin and a bit of fresh lemon and a bit of soda. And boy oh BOY is it good. Best part about this story is that you can BUY a bottle of his Tonic Syrup and make them at home. I think Tonic Syrup is a thing now, so you can find it around, but if you have a chance to get the one made by Carroll & Co., I recommend it.

I did get it, and I took it to the Catskills to have on Bobcat Mountain, at my favourite pond in the world.

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That's it! Don't forget the potato chips. Or a plate of crackers and stinky cheese at the fancier swimming holes.

Either way, CHEERS!

I have yet to meet a woman who even REMOTELY likes shopping for a new swimsuit.

It is THE thing that is worse than shopping for jeans. Which is also terrible.

Swimsuit shopping is a Great Sucker of Time. It is a Self-Esteem Sabotage Activity. It is frought with Memories of Teen Angst. It can be downright Panic Inducing. It almost always requires a bag of chips and/or glass of wine to wallow in afterwards.

I'm still not really sure I want to talk about this, but I always find I feel better when I talk about things and find out that everyone else is thinking basically the same thing, so here goes.

Set your alarms! Swimming Holes We Have Known hits the air waves on Metro Morning this Friday at 7:20! So excited to be chatting about swimming with Matt Galloway from my very favourite corner of Toronto: Sunnyside Beach and Pool!

A couple recent illustrations about two of my favourite things: swimming and my fellow swimmers.

1). For optimal results, take a roadtrip with your favourite swimmers. Land at the most beautiful home and hug your host tight tight. Be so grateful she lives on a river. Pinch yourself.



2). At happy hour, pull on your trackpants and start a roaring fire. Sip your watermelon-rosemary-gin cocktail out of a gold paper straw. Pinch yourself.



3). As the fire settles into embers, sip a Lavender French 75. Cheers your swimming besties.



4). Start cooking over the fire. I recommend a clambake.

5). Devour clambake from Step 4 as the sun sets. Feel so grateful for this weekend and your brilliant, inspiring, hilarious friends.

6). Grab a headlamp, or the world's brightest flashlight.

7). Douse yourself in bug spray and/or pull up your hoodie and tie the hood tight. Socks, optional but recommended.



8). Make s'mores. They will be your river swimming fuel.



9). Realize on the walk to the river that the flashlight also doubles as a transistor radio. Crank it. Find a reggae station. Have a dance party.

10). Take the canoe out for the summer's first midnight paddle. Watch out for the rocks. Marvel at how still the river is, how quiet it is on the water. The one lone firefly will make up for the lack of stars.

11). Paddle back to the dock and tie up the canoe. Ditch your trackpants in a puddle on the dock. Jump, even if you're still not convinced you're a jumper-inner.

12). Swim out to the middle of the inlet. Float on your back, let the water fill your ears. Revel in the silence and the calm and the perfect.

13). When you can't stand the cold any longer, rush the ladder. You can't move fast enough...

14). Wear your towel like a cape and dry off enough to pull your trackpants back on. #teamtrackpants4evah



15). Warm yourself by the fire upon your return. Roast marshmallows. All the marshmallows.

16). Sleep better than you have in months.

• BEACH: Musky and fresh all at once, with a consistent blend of wild flowers and fish bones carried on the wind.
• POOL: The sweet smell of chlorine and the occasional waft of stink from the murky public change rooms.

• BEACH: Bands of blue splashing and sparkling under the sun. A strong water woven with waves and pieces of sky.
• POOL: Thin translucent and pencil crayon blue, as sharp and snappy as water comes

• BEACH: Once you are out past the sandbars, it’s a roomy, deep and fulfilling swim. The shallow spaces between the sandbars make excellent wide and warm pools for kids to play in and for one to leisurely frolic and float.
• POOL: During leisure swims, you are elbow to elbow with splashing and smiling families, teenagers and general pool lovers. The joy is contagious, but for a serious swim, seek out the dedicated length swim times.

• BEACH: As far as the eye can see, no end in sight.
• POOL: Bricks and buildings, but look up while floating, the sky is calling.

• BEACH: The finest of sand, soft and unstable.
• POOL: Concrete grip, nubby and unforgiving.

• BEACH: Waterside full of sandcastles, saucy seagulls, games of frisbee, beach umbrellas and pop up tents.
• POOL: Waterside full of conversations, laughter, gossip, harmless rough housing and covert snacks and cellular devices

• BEACH: Endless possibilities waiting in the rich sand.
• POOL: Only sandcastle you are building is around the corner in the Earlscourt park sandbox.

• BEACH: No weeds, but there is the Wasaga beach muck, which collects in the first few feet of the water. It’s harmless, mostly organic plant matter. Just leap over it with a stag jump… or wade through, whatever floats your boat.
• POOL: No weeds in this pool… but there is the occasional clump of stray hair floating along the deep end. Try not too look to closely at the bottom.

• BEACH: A lone beach patrol, 20 something, zooming past every 15 minutes on a 4 wheeler, wearing a uniform and bullet proof vest.
• POOL: A pack of teenage lifeguards, buzzing and patched with zinc.

• BEACH: Sand everywhere. Empty your sandals before departing or entering your house.
• POOL: There will be burning eyes and dry skin. Bring moisturizer.

1). Spying pool typography in the deep end (Thanks for the tip, Lo!)
2). The dragonflies criss-crossing overhead
3). The epic pool deck strut of a kiddo who passed her deep end test for the first time.

And best of all, all the junk and grief that's been floating around my brain disappeared for an hour, and when I got out, everything felt possible again.

White sand beaches, turquoise water and only 2.5h from Toronto. It seems almost impossible, but it's not. Sandbanks is a truly exceptional place, and the site of one of my very favourite swims of all time.  Sandbanks is the world's largest baymouth barrier dune formation (and as the step-daughter of a geomorphologist who studies sand dunes, it's kind of a big deal), but mostly it's the Caribbean Sea-like water that has my heart.

A step-by-step guide to Sandbanks swimming:

Step 1: Make sure you've got cash. And by cash, I mean $5s, loonies and twoonies (See Step 11!) And if you're as impatient as I am, put your suit on under your clothes. You never know when there'll be a swimming hole along the way.

Step 2: Leave the city as early as possible. No seriously, we left at 2:20pm and *still* got caught in Friday afternoon traffic. Either way, make sure you're stocked with wine gums and if you've been able to get your mom to watch your kid, take advantage of baby seat-free space and revel in all that leg room. Crank the tunes. Google the directions.
Step 3: When you turn into the Sandbanks road, the trees will dapple the road and your windshield. (Note: a day-use permit is $11.25, but I promise it's so, so worth it!)

Step 4: If you don't already have your suit on under your clothes, there are change rooms and washrooms in the parking lots.

Step 5: Make sure you've got your sunscreen, water, post-swim snacks, sun hat, towels, reading material...



Step 6: Climb the sandy hill (a dune!) up from the parking lot. The first glimpse of that white sand and the blue-blue lake will be breathtaking. Pause. Revel. Pinch yourself – yes, you are still in Ontario!



Step 7: Spread out your towel(s). Have some water, some chips, read a few pages of your book/magazine. Get so hot you can't possibly stand the sun any longer. Start wading into the lake.

Step 8: Keep wading. You can walk for 200m and still only be up to your thighs!

Step 9: Dive under. Float. Front crawl. Blow bubbles. Be amazed by how clear the water is. Pinch yourself again, yes, this is Lake Ontario.

Step 10: Repeat steps 7-9 over and over again.



Step 11: Once you've decided it's time to pack up, start scanning the side of the road for honour-system eggs/asparagus/strawberries. Pull over every single time. Be grateful you loaded your pockets with coins.

Step 11.5: Stop at every barn sale and antique shop and yard sale. You never know when you'll find a tupperware container filled with swim badges*



Step 12: Celebrate your lake swim with wine and pizza at Norman Hardie. Toast your stroke with oysters and sparkling rosé (and food truck donuts!) at Rosehall Run.

Step 13: If it's G&T time (and when is it not?) I recommend a gin-tasting at the 66 Gilead Distillery. Say hi to the chickens, and marvel at the antique quilts and coupes and tablecloths. I'd also recommend a swing on the tree swing, your lake-wet hair drying in the breeze. (Note: it closes at 5pm. Happy hour comes early in The County).
Step 15: As you drive home, with your hair still smelling like lake, continue to stop at every barn sale/honour-system produce stand. The vintage 10kg sugar sack you will maybe one day will sew into something useful will always remind you of that brilliant turquoise swim.

P.S.: More swim roadtripping: to Harold Quarry!


* Note: I did not find a container full of swim badges, though I wish I had. I did find a jar of Scout badges, but it's not quite the same...

I lose all sense of time when I'm swimming. As soon as I'm front crawling, it could be 5 minutes or 45, I really have no gauge – it's one of the reasons I love it so much. Outside of the pool, I am ruled by clocks and always know exactly what time it is and how long I've been doing whatever it is that I'm doing, but when I'm swimming that all disappears.

I used to have a waterproof watch, but I haven't been able to find it since I moved homes almost two years ago, and most of the time I don't miss it. I guess if I counted my lengths I'd know approximately how long it'd been, but I don't. I can't let my mind wander to all the strange and wonderful places it wanders to when I'm swimming if I'm trying to remember that I'm on length 8, or is it 10?

"Fancy" indoor pools have a racing clock, the red-blue-green-yellow second hand counting down when you have to push off the wall, even if you still haven't caught your breath, but most City of Toronto pools don't have them (or they do, but they broke years ago and are now art installations). Most indoor rec pools usually have a clock somewhere, perched above the pool, often times an hour off because no one re-set it when when Daylight Saving Time started or ended. Then, I count out my 30-minute warm up, 10 minutes of kicking, 5 more minutes of front crawl, 10 minutes of sprinting and 5 minute cool-down.

But outdoor pools rarely have a clock big enough to see from the deck. I would love do it not to matter, to be able to swim until I was tired, but I usually know I've got 45 minutes to an hour to swim.

My trick to make sure I don't entirely lose track of time, is the LZV-patented Lifeguard Clock: using the lifeguards' changeovers to mark the minutes. Guard changes at big pools usually happen every 15 minutes, 20 minutes at smaller pools. I try to remember one feature about a guard near the fast lane – that they're wearing a cowboy hat, or reflective sunglasses, or have a ponytail, or a long-sleeved shirt. When Cowboy hat is replaced with Ray Bans, I know it's been 15 minutes. When Ray Bans is replaced with Side Pony, it's been 30 minutes. It's not a perfect science, and sometimes guards look so similar it's hard to tell if there's been a guard change or not, but it keeps me from getting out of the pool after 10 minutes, or staying in for hours...