1). For optimal results, take a roadtrip with your favourite swimmers. Land at the most beautiful home and hug your host tight tight. Be so grateful she lives on a river. Pinch yourself.



2). At happy hour, pull on your trackpants and start a roaring fire. Sip your watermelon-rosemary-gin cocktail out of a gold paper straw. Pinch yourself.



3). As the fire settles into embers, sip a Lavender French 75. Cheers your swimming besties.



4). Start cooking over the fire. I recommend a clambake.

5). Devour clambake from Step 4 as the sun sets. Feel so grateful for this weekend and your brilliant, inspiring, hilarious friends.

6). Grab a headlamp, or the world's brightest flashlight.

7). Douse yourself in bug spray and/or pull up your hoodie and tie the hood tight. Socks, optional but recommended.



8). Make s'mores. They will be your river swimming fuel.



9). Realize on the walk to the river that the flashlight also doubles as a transistor radio. Crank it. Find a reggae station. Have a dance party.

10). Take the canoe out for the summer's first midnight paddle. Watch out for the rocks. Marvel at how still the river is, how quiet it is on the water. The one lone firefly will make up for the lack of stars.

11). Paddle back to the dock and tie up the canoe. Ditch your trackpants in a puddle on the dock. Jump, even if you're still not convinced you're a jumper-inner.

12). Swim out to the middle of the inlet. Float on your back, let the water fill your ears. Revel in the silence and the calm and the perfect.

13). When you can't stand the cold any longer, rush the ladder. You can't move fast enough...

14). Wear your towel like a cape and dry off enough to pull your trackpants back on. #teamtrackpants4evah



15). Warm yourself by the fire upon your return. Roast marshmallows. All the marshmallows.

16). Sleep better than you have in months.